Leave Our Blood / A Pet

I define myself through you. You are big and strong, laughing while you talk to your friends. Meanwhile, I cower in the corner, attached to you through a tube. Without legs and only one arm, I can only crawl on my stomach, like some protozoic lizard. I can barely see you, my eyes covered in thin skin. But I know you are big, because I see your shadow moving through the light, and I know you are strong, because you have me fully absorbed within you. I am proud to have myself be a part of you, to have us be one. I can not stand us being apart. I hate all that remains of my body, because it keeps me from you. I want to suck in your taste through the air, to smell the wine on your breath when you push it out in gasping laughs. But my lungs are weak and infantile; like a fish out of water, I can only move them to short, twitching breaths before my chest seizes up. I pull myself over the hard wood floor, marking my path with a line of my pale, scraped-off skin. When I reach you, I tug on your leg. Your flesh is lean, bloodshot and vital. I can feel your blood pulsing in time with mine. I think you shout something at me, but my ears are already beaten numb. As you quiet down, you lean over to me, stroking my chin. Your thick fingers caress my skin with hidden strength. You dig into it, trying to get into the veins, but the blood inside is tainted, mucous, and it sticks to me like foul honey. Your voice is angry. I can feel your blood rushing faster through our arteries. Your foot strikes me on the jaw, sending splinters through my lips. You beat me, manic, as if in a twisted heart massage, my bones cracking louder with every strike. Finally, my skin tears, and the fragments of my jaw fall through the cracks into the floor. You and your friends lean over me, laughing. Your adrenaline rushes into me, my exhilaration mixing with yours. Your blood fills me with life. Your laugh fills me with joy. I want to hear it for the rest of my life. I howl madly, like a wolf bitch in heat. Disoriented, I bite for my flesh. I feel something cutting into my arm, and a thick fluid in my mouth. Its taste still carries memories of you. You all laugh louder and louder, petting me like a pup with orgasmic excitement. You push my head forcefully I my flesh, driving my jaw deeper into my remains. I feel your love for yourself, and you know I feel it, too. Dissolving in front of you is my greatest honor.